The Two K's!
by CrazedWeirdo
Summary: A humorous talk show staring the Final Fantasy Characters themselves. The two K's is Hosted by the two K's themselves, Kuja and Kefka! OH NO! Two mysterious Fiends are trying to take over the show! Who could they be? New Chapter coming soon.. Please R
1. Madness begins

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Final Fantasy Characters, they belong to Square-enix obviously!  
  
*The lights come on showing a typical talk show set out, looking rather like at front room cut in half attached to a mini lit up stage. In one corner is a desk with two big comfy chairs at them. By it stands a two-seat leather sofa. Behind it is a big window showing the nightlife of midgar with two red curtains on the either side of it. In the middle of the set is a doorway, which leads to the back of the staging. *  
  
*Corny American voice comes on as the audience claps. * Welcome all to a brand new talk show! The two K's, proudly hosted by the two K's themselves! That Mysterious Magician who has the fashion know how, IIIIIIIIIT'SSSS KUJA; Kuja comes out of the middle doorway wearing his normal outfit, smiling and waving at the audience as he makes his way to the desk. * And that funny clown that sends us to hell and back, IIIIIIIT'SSS KEFKA!!! Kefka comes on through the door, also wearing his normal outfit, laughing and smiling hysterically as he takes his seat at the desk. *  
  
Kuja: Hello! And welcome to the two K's talk show, and it's a promise, we ARE better than Jerry Springer. *evil eyes the TV cameras. *  
  
Kefka: Uweeeeee!! You got it Kuja-doll! *Places hand on Kuja's knee. *  
  
Kuja: *Slaps Kefka around the face. * We discussed this in the Make up room! I am NOT a woman!  
  
Kefka: Uweee. *Grins widely. *  
  
Kuja: *Sighs. * Our first guest for this evening is that talking Dog/cat/emu thing who went all round the planet, please, a warm welcome fooo-  
  
Kefka: WHERE'S MY WATER?!?!  
  
Kuja: Kefka, shut up. ¬_¬  
  
Kefka: Some heads will be rolling if I don't get my WATER!!!  
  
Kuja: SOMEONE GET HIM SOME B&£$% *Bleeps * WATER?!?!  
  
Kefka: *Dumbfounded by the bleeps* HEY!! They said they wouldn't bleep off the swearing!  
  
*Man comes on carrying a glass of water for them both.*  
  
Kefka: AND TURN OFF THE BLEEP MACHINE TOO! Uweeeeeee!!!  
  
Kuja: *coughs* As I was saying, Please give a warm welcome for our First ever guest, all the way from Cosmo Canyon! RED XIII!!! *Claps with the rest of the audience as the Dog/Cat/Emu thing comes in and sits on the sofa.*  
  
Red XIII: It's good to be here, K. *Everybody laughs* *smiles*  
  
Kuja: *Blink* o_0;  
  
Kefka: *Busy doodling on script with pen*  
  
Kuja: Riiight. Well How long have you been in the hero business?  
  
Red XIII: As long as I can remember. *Everyone laughs again.*  
  
Kuja: *Trys to laugh with the audience* Riiight. O-kaaay.  
  
Kefka: *Still doodling.*  
  
Cloud: *From the audience* YOU GO NANAKI!!!  
  
Barret: *Calls out* YOU EMU/CAT/DOG THING!!! YA STAR, FOO', A STAR!!!  
  
Red XIII: *eye twitches* He. just. called... me. AN EMU!?!?? *Goes Crazy and jumps off stage to attack Barret*  
  
Barret: AGH!! I PITY YOU FOO', I PITY YOU!!!  
  
Kuja: And there's a little bit more excitement for you folks! And while Kefka is busy getting the bets sorted out on who will win, we'll be back after this commercial! *Smiles*  
  
Kefka: *Now in the audience collecting bids* 3:1 ON RED XIII!! UWEEE!!! COME ON, YOU COULD BE A WINNER!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Commercial Voice: Are you fed up of NOT having a dissent Hot Dog to eat?  
  
*shows Zell Dincht who is sat in an arm chair, nodding slowly.*  
  
Commercial Voice: Are you fed up of low class meat going into your Hot dog?  
  
Zell: *Nods*  
  
Commercial Voice: WELL!! Come on down to the Pig Barn! Where your hot dogs are made with First class Pig meat and Good tasting all the way!! *shows Zell having Happy fits infront of a barn like building eating hot dogs.*  
  
Commercial Voice: Pig Barn! Cause we care about your hot dog.. ^_~  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial End ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kuja: And we are back, Barret some how won that fight and Red XIII is now currently in the emergency ward! *smiles happily*  
  
Kefka: *Has Large amounts of Gil on his side of his desk.* Uweeeee!!!  
  
Kuja: Now, may I welcome our second guest, he's the guy all you Girls Love, the Evil Bishounen all the way from Hell! IIIIIT'SS SEPHIROTH!!! *Gets up and claps while Kefka actually looks up and frowns sourly*  
  
Sephiroth: *Walks on stage while all the girls in the audience (even Tifa, Yuffie and Aeris) start screaming and clapping madly throwing there're knickers onto the stage, while Cloud, Cid and Barret Boo at them.*  
  
Hojo: YAY SONNY BOY!! *Claps and whistles*  
  
Kuja: *shakes hands with Sephiroth before they both sit down.* Well, Sephiroth, It's a real pleasure to have you on the show.  
  
Sephiroth: Pleasure is all mine! *smiles and winks at Kuja.*  
  
Kuja: *Finds himself Blushing* *^o^*  
  
Kefka: *Fuming* Yea. Pleasure! Uweeeeeeehehehehe!!  
  
Kuja: Right, first question. How exactly have did you become so famous in the first place? *places chin on hand, leaning on it.*  
  
Sephiroth: Well. I was kind of a science Experiment for ShinRa so that's mainly how I became big, cause I knew the right people basically..  
  
Kuja: Uh-huh.. *not really listening.*  
  
Kefka: Pfft, big deal! I was a science experiment, and Look at me! *smiles proudly*  
  
Kuja: Yeah Kefka. A real Clown! *audience laughs*  
  
Kefka: *Pouts*  
  
Kuja: So. Sephy.. Can I call you Sephy?  
  
Sephiroth: Call me what you wish, Kuja-doll.. *winks again*  
  
Kuja: *Blushes and giggles like a girl*  
  
Kefka: *Now pissed off* THAT'S IT!!! You may steal the heart of my girl BUT YOU AIN'T STEALING MY NAME FOR KUJA-DOLL!!! *Jumps for Sephiroth over desk*  
  
Sephiroth: BRING IT ON COCO THE CLOWN!!! *Stands up, but before he could take out his masamune, Kefka lands on him.*  
  
Kuja: *Turns to the audience smiling sheepishly* Well! They seem to have not noticed one thing about me. I'M NOT A GIRL!!! *Jumps over desk and joins the fight*  
  
Kefka: *punching Sephiroth in the face* Take this you woman stealing, mother F$%£$R!!*Bleep*  
  
Sephiroth: *Trying to strangle Kefka* Go back to the F%£$&£g *Bleep* Circus!  
  
Kuja: *Battering Kefka's Back* FOR THE LAST F£%£^"G *Bleep* TIME!! I'M NOT A B&£^%Y *Bleep* GIRL!!! GRRRRR!!!  
  
*This fight continues while Seymour Guado wearing a Headset walks on and takes a seat at the desk. The Bleep machine is going crazy as the continue swearing, while the crowd cheer on who that wants to win.*  
  
Seymour: *Coughs* Cloud Strife is now taking in bets for the Fight between Kefka and Sephiroth, Kuja does not count as he joined the fight about 15seconds after and is not fighting for the same reason.  
  
Cloud: *In crowd standing up, collecting money.* I GOT 5:3 SEPHIROTH!! COME ON PEOPLE!! BIG GIL COULD BE MADE HERE!!  
  
Seymour: Will now be having a commercial break! Hopefully the fight would of died down by then, if not more commercials! *Smiles* Have fun!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*A picture of a "perfect" family comes on in the park. Having a Picnic.*  
  
Calming Voice: ShinRa Inc knows how important happiness is.  
  
*Shows smiling little girl with Dad*  
  
Calming Voice: Everything is good, you can trust us.  
  
*Kid now hugging little brother smiling for camera*  
  
Calming Voice: Everything is perfect, you can believe us.  
  
*Whole family now showing, hugging and smiling happily to camera.*  
  
Calming Voice: ShinRa Inc, We care about you..  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial End ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Everyone in the studio has stopped watching the fight and is now hypnotized because of the commercial. Sephiroth has disappeared off stage and Kuja and Kefka are back at the desk.*  
  
Rufus: *Behind the stage* I knew that Propaganda would work! *giggles evilly with the Turks behind him*  
  
Kuja: *Has a black eye* Thank you ShinRa, I feel safer already! *grins*  
  
Kefka: *Has two black eyes, and a crooked smile* Everything is Goooood.. Peeeeerfect! Uweeeeeee!!!  
  
Kuja: As to the results of the fight, no one knew who actually won it, due to everyone was watching the TV, but as Sephiroth had disappeared, Kefka has been declared the winner!  
  
*Rufus and the other Turks suddenly appear running across the stage screaming in terror while Sephiroth chases after them with his Masamune, he also has two black eyes and appears to be limping slightly.*  
  
Rufus: AGGGGH!!!  
  
Sephiroth: COME BACK HERE YOU VERMIN!!! *Country chase music suddenly plays.*  
  
Kuja: *Looks around to where the music came from* We haven't even got a band yet! 0o;  
  
Kefka: *Still grinning* Gooood.. Peeeeerfect. Uweeeehehehe!  
  
Kuja: *Looks from Kefka to the Camera* That's all we have time for this week, but please join us next week for a special surprise and two more guests! *Audience claps* Thank you, and good night from the Two K's! *waves bye as the camera zooms away from them.*  
  
Kefka: Everything is gooooooood. peeeeerfect.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ SPECIAL SHINRA NEWS BULLETIN ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tseng: *Coughs and ruffles paper on the desk in front of him. He places them down and puts his hands together and smiles.* Everything is Good! Everything is just perfect! ^_^  
  
Sephiroth: *Runs on carrying his Masamune* I'LL KILL YOU ALL!!!  
  
Tseng: 00; AGGGGGGGGGH!!! *Runs off screen being chased by Sephiroth*  
  
Seymour: *Appears and sits down in Tseng's place and repeats what Tseng did.* Everything is Gooooood!!! Everything is Juuuuust Peachy!! ^__^ *Smiles and walks off*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~~~~ 


	2. FF6 Characters still sore

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy Characters as I have said, they belong to Square-enix.  
  
You may also want to use an Al Bhed Translator when you come up to part of it, if you don't have one downloaded just type Al Bhed translator in Google.  
  
*Lights come on showing the last episode's setting, this time Kuja and Kefka are already at the desk and a weird shaped band are on the stage.* Welcome to The Two K's talk show! With the Two K's them selves, IIIIIIIT'SSS KUJA AND KEFKA!! *Audience clap loudly while new band play a little number.*  
  
Kuja: *This time wearing a long white coat decorated with lilac swirls and patterns while line with gold. He is also wearing skin tight black pants but no shirt and a lilac gold trimmed collar.* Hello and welcome to the show! This week we actually have a band folks! *Audience Ooo's* Please give a warm welcome to The Rumbly Tumblys! *Claps with rest of audience*  
  
Vivi: *Twangs the guitar* Umm.. hi!  
  
Zidane: *From Audience* YOU GO VIVI!! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING MAN!!!  
  
Cait Sith: *Hits the drums* For your fortune, call 555-555-FORTUNE!  
  
Tifa: *From audience* YEAH CAIT!! BANG THOSE DRUMS!  
  
Quina: *Chewing on keyboard* Yummmm, plastic!  
  
Kuja: *Sighs but smiles anyway* On this weeks sho-  
  
Kefka: Why aren't you wearing your Thong!? 00  
  
Kuja: To prove to you I'm not a girl! Now Ssh and let me carry on with the show!  
  
Kefka: *sighs but stares dreamily at Kuja's chest*  
  
Kuja: Kefka. I don't have breasts! I'm not a woman!  
  
Kefka: Being Flat chested is nothing to be ashamed about!  
  
Kuja: *Sighs and slaps Kefka around the face.* Our guests this evening will be the famous gambling man, Setzer Gabbiani and the lovely opera diva impersonating, traitor to the empire woman, Celes Chere! *Audience claps*  
  
Kefka: *Now wide eyed* You didn't book THEM did you? THEM, of ALL the people you could book, you booked THEM!!! 00;  
  
Kuja: I don't see why not! *Grins evilly* Now, welcome our first guest! Setzer Gabbiani!!! *claps with rest of audience*  
  
Kefka: *Now acting like a spoiled child, in a huff with his arms crossed slouching badly*  
  
Setzer: *walks through door, waves and pulls out a few cards doing some card tricks on his way to the sofa.* Howdy!  
  
Kuja: Welcome to the show Setzer!  
  
Setzer: Nice to here! *Smiles at Kuja but sneers at Kefka.* You!!!  
  
Kefka: Hello Setzer! *grins evilly then frowns again.*  
  
Setzer: Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Setzer.  
  
Setzer: Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Setzer.  
  
Setzer: Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Setzer.  
  
Kuja: Kuja! Now let's carry on, shall we?  
  
Setzer: Very well.  
  
Kefka: Yes.. let's.  
  
Setzer: Ok then.  
  
Kefka: Fine.  
  
Setzer: Just peachy.  
  
Kefka: Picture perfect.  
  
Kuja: *coughs loudly* Now, Setzer, it says here you love classy opera! Well so do I! ^__^;  
  
Setzer: Yeah, I always go to the Opera House with the Diva, Maria, and I also like going to the auction house that is close by.  
  
Kuja: Really? Well I own an auction house as I'm a Noble of Treno!  
  
Setzer: Well, I'm a millionaire, who owns the world's first airship, along with complete Casino! *Sticks his tongue out at Kuja*  
  
Kuja: *Is a little ticked off* Well.. I owned the first airship that ran without mist!  
  
Setzer: At least I didn't steal mine!  
  
Kuja: THAT'S IT!! *Becomes Trance Kuja* I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU'RE SNOBBINESS!!! PREPARE TO DIE!! *Leaps towards Setzer, while everything goes swirly and The band starts playing Dark Messenger as the typical Final Fantasy Battle system shows up.*  
  
Setzer: You will be going DOWN! *Uses slots Lagomorph comes up and cures Setzer 79 Hp.* DAMN RABBIT THING!!  
  
Kuja: My turn! *smiles evilly* ULTIMA!!!  
  
Setzer: Oh SHI- *Gets killed by Ultima*  
  
Kefka: *Jumps up and down with joy* UWEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!  
  
Kuja: *Looks into camera* We'll be right back after the commercial break! ^_^;  
  
Seymour: *Comes on then walks off dragging Setzer's body away by one leg.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Rin appears on screen in front of one of his Shop/Inn houses.*  
  
Rin: Kuut tyo du Al Bhed, Yna oui dnyjammehk vyn po vuud yht haat y bmyla du cdyo?  
  
*Shows Wakka, who is Tired and nods reluctantly.*  
  
Rin: Tu oui haat du cdulg ib uh dra mydacd Edasc, Faybuhc yht Tavahca Edas?  
  
*Wakka Nods reluctantly again.*  
  
Rin: Famm drah, lusa du uha uv so cbaleym Al Bhed Ehh/Cduna ruica drehk! Frana ymm ouin haatc yna nekrd drana!  
  
*Shows Rin and his house thing again*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial End ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kefka: UWWWEEEEEEEE!!! Welcome Back! If you missed the fight before the I have one thing to say to you! WHY ARE YOU FLICKING CHANNELS?!? YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING US!!! UWEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!!  
  
Kuja: Yes. *Blankly stares at camera* Hopefully our next guest isn't quite so.err . Snobbish. ^^; Please welcome our last guest for tonight! CELES CHERE!!! *claps with audience*  
  
Celes: *Walks through doors, band places a little bit of the opera music she sang while she walks to the sofa.* Kuja! *Nods happily* Kefka.*evil glares*  
  
Kefka: Celes.  
  
Celes: Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Celes.  
  
Celes: Kefka.  
  
Kefka: Celes.  
  
Celes: Kefka.  
  
Kuja: Please! Not this again! *sighs* First question Celes. How come you betrayed the empire?  
  
Celes: Well I-  
  
Kefka: YOU BETRAYED ME?!!?! WAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! *cries on desk*  
  
Celes: You also betrayed the empire Kefka! You took over everything!  
  
Kefka: Oh! So I did! Uweeeeehehehe!!! *Giggles evilly*  
  
Celes: Riiight. I was only branded a Traitor because I had doubts about what the empire was doing! It really Sucked!  
  
Kefka: *sighs* Why are women always the smart ones?  
  
Kuja: *coughs and punches Kefka on the head.* I hear you are getting married to Locke, can you confirm this?  
  
Celes: Yes abou-  
  
Kefka: I take it back! Women aren't always the smart ones! ^___^  
  
Celes: What are you implying?  
  
Kefka: Nothing.. Nothing at all. *Puts on an innocent face*  
  
Celes: I know he used to be a thief!  
  
Locke: *calls out from audience* TREASURE HUNTER!!! I'M A GOD DAMN TREASURE HUNTER!!!  
  
Celes: FINE!! A Treasure Hunter, but he's not anymore!  
  
Kefka: OKAY!! OKAY!! Jim-mo-nee!  
  
Kuja: *blinks* I can see what's going to happen here people, so let's just cut to the commercial's already! ^___^;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Shows Cloud standing in the middle of Wall Street Completely clueless to why he's there.*  
  
Cloud: *Reading from cue card* I am a man, looking to for a dress, but where can I find a dress that fits my . Musclair? Oh, muscular body features. HEY!!! *Turns to Camera angrily.* The hell is this?!  
  
*Back drop comes down of the dress store*  
  
Whisper: Just read the cue card, Cloud! Or you won't be paid!  
  
Cloud: *Looks at Cue Card* Oh! Look! Just the place for Drag Queens like me! How lucky I am that a shop sells such fine gowns at cheap prices for men like me.. *Not amused*  
  
Dramatic voice: *Big sign comes up* Come To Wall Street Drag Robes! The place where all you Drag Queens can Buy Fashionable designs at Low Prices!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial End ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Kuja: *Murmurs to self* I must go there sometime! *Smiles at the camera* Welcome Back folks! The show will be ending shortly, but first we must say thanks to our two Guests! *Hand gestures towards the still dead Setzer and Celes, who is poking him.* And do not worry about Kefka!  
  
*Kefka is hung upside-down gagged and tied up*  
  
Kuja: He will be cut down by next week! Now before we end, we would also like to thank the Rumbly Tumblys! *claps with the audience* Good Bye everyone! AND DON'T FORGET TO JOIN US NEXT WEEK!! GOOD NIGHT!!! *camera zooms away as band plays*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ SPECIAL SHINRA NEWS BULLETIN ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Palmer: *Coughs and ruffles papers, then looks at the camera seriously.* Good Day. *He Farts* Good night.  
  
Sephiroth: *Runs on* I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SHINRA VERMIN!!!  
  
Palmer: AGGGGGGGGH!!! *Runs off with Sephiroth Chasing him*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~~~~ 


	3. Unexpected takeover

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy Characters as I have said, they belong to Square-enix.  
  
Thanks to the reviews I have had so far! I love you all!  
  
*Lights come on showing the last episode's setting, Kuja is sat at the desk and Kefka seems to be missing, the band is also there.* Welcome to The Two K's talk show! With the Two K's them selves, IIIIIIIT'SSS KUJA AND KEFKA!! *Audience clap loudly while new band play a little number.*  
  
Kuja: Hello, and welcome to this weeks show of the Two K's... Kefka I believe is not here... Well as you can see... *Smiles Joyfully* He is not here and I don't know where he is! Oh joy!  
  
Seymour: *Comes walking on, this time with a presenter's microphone on instead of his usual headset. He takes his place beside Kuja at the desk* Good Evening...  
  
Kuja: *Looks from Seymour to the Camera* O-kaaaay... This evening our quests will be-  
  
Seymour: May I say you are looking lovely today, Kuja! *Smiles charmingly*  
  
Kuja: I do try Seymour... Yes... Now Our first guest will be the man who thought he was an Ex-member of SOLIDER and went completely coo coo at one point! No it's not Zidane Tribal, BUT CLOUD STRIFE EVERYBODY!!! *Claps with audience*  
  
Cloud Strife: *Appears at the door way, waves and makes his way down to the sofa*  
  
Zidane: *Mutters in Audience* I never thought I was a member of solider!  
  
Dagger: Yes but you did go crazy on us...  
  
Zidane: Truuuue....  
  
Kuja: *Whispering to Seymour* Where's Kefka?  
  
Seymour: He's... er... On a sick day I believe...  
  
Kuja: Oh... *turns to face Cloud* Welcome to the show Cloud...  
  
Cloud: *Nods slowly* Where's Kefka?  
  
Kuja: We believe that Kefka may be off sick... Now Cloud, how did it feel to nearly kill one of your own companions due to Sephiroth controlling you?  
  
Cloud: *whimpers then bursts out crying* I DIDN'T MEAN TOO!!! HE MADE ME!!! I didn't kill her! It was hiiiiiiiiiiim!!!!!!! *runs off crying like a little baby*  
  
Kuja and Seymour: o_0;  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ While this is all happening, something strange is going on behind the stage... ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Kefka is being hung upside down while some mysterious person hides in the shadows.*  
  
????: Once preparations will be done, You will be nothing and I will be something! MWAHAHA!!!  
  
Kefka: You'll still be nothing! Uweeee!!! When Kuja-doll finds out about this, she's gone rip your head off! Uwweeeeeeeeehehehehehe!!!  
  
????: Kuja's a man... And a very cute one at that! *Holds up Kuja photo and hugs it*  
  
Kefka: Kuja's MINE Dumbass!  
  
????: You seem to forget that you're tied up and that once we take over Kuja will be mine!!! MWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Kefka: You crazy!  
  
????: I'm not crazy! You're the one who looks like the clown around here!  
  
Kefka: Atleast I know my second name!!  
  
????: Hell, I don't even know your second name, what is it?  
  
Kefka: Er.... I don't know...  
  
????: But you just said you did!  
  
Kefka: I thought I did...  
  
????: Then you must of known....  
  
Kefka: I don't know.... What were we talking about again?  
  
????: You're second name!  
  
Kefka: Really?! I have one?!  
  
????: You just said you did!!!  
  
Kefka: Really?! I forgot... Who are you again? *goes cross eyed*  
  
????: You're an idiot!  
  
Kefka: Really? Maybe you're the idiot around here!  
  
????: I don't think so... .  
  
Kefka: That just proves you're an idiot, you don't think! Uweeeeeeeeheheheheh!!!  
  
????: Shut up...  
  
Kefka: No, you shut up!  
  
????: No, you shut up!  
  
Kefka: No, you!  
  
????: You!  
  
Kefka: Noooooooo, yoooooooooou!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ And we carry on with the show scene while they argue... ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Cloud is sat with the Rumbly Tumblys and is crying and moaning about his life, while Vivi and Cait Sith try to comfort him. Quina just chews on his 6th keyboard that night. Kuja and Seymour are looking a little worried but smile none the less at the camera.*  
  
Kuja: I think we should go to a commercial break for the time being, but stay tuned for our next guest after the break.! *smiles cheesily.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Camera Shows Rufus Shinra in some kind of rapping uniform.*  
  
Rufus: Yo hippy dudes! I'm cool, I'm down with it! I'm here to say that all you Dudes and Gals out there should join my Business! *Does some weird break dance move and then freezes*  
  
*Reno now enters wearing a similar outfit*  
  
Reno: Yo, what's up me homies? Join today and you can be cool, so hip ya friends wil think ya scorchin' hot! *Does a break dance move*  
  
*Elena now walks in wearing a female version of their clothes*  
  
Reno: If you join ShinRa Inc today, you can pick up hot girls like me easily! *winks at camera*  
  
*Rude then comes on*  
  
Rude: .... *Does some major kickass Break dance moves like a pro.*  
  
All: Join today, don't delay, YO!  
  
*Sephiroth then runs on, grasping sword in hand.*  
  
Sephiroth: I'LL TURN YOU SHINRA SCUM INTO STRING!!!!  
  
All: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! *runs off*  
  
Sephiroth *Runs after the Shinra*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial over ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Cloud is no gone and Kuja and Seymour are looking slightly more relaxed at the desk.*  
  
Kuja: Welcome back to the show everybody! Our next guest this evenin-  
  
Seymour: Will be talking to that secret keeper from Balamb Garden, not Seifer, this guy can be the moodiest guy you've ever seen! That's right, iiiiiiiiittttttt'sssssss SQUALL LEONHART EVERYBODY!! *Stands up clapping with the rest of the audience*  
  
*Kuja looks a little miffed while tapping his fingers on the table, Squall appears at the doorway looking rather moody but gives a small smile and a wave, then makes his way over. The band plays "Eyes on me" as he makes his way*  
  
Seymour: Greetings Squall! *shakes hands with Squall*  
  
Squall: Hello Seymour... Kuja... *nods at Kuja*  
  
Kuja: Yes hello... Seymour: Well Squall, *sits down in chair again* How's life with Rinoa doing?  
  
Squall: S'ok I supposed... Better then it was anyway....  
  
Seymour: Now Squall, before your journey came to an end, you went threw some kind of Time compression. We thought you died! How is it that you came to be alive today?  
  
Squall: *Sits there blinking* Possibly the same way why you are STILL alive today? 00;  
  
Seymour: ..... Quite... o0;  
  
Kuja: *Yawns, looking rather bored. He is busying slouching on one arm twirling his hair with the other.* *mumbles* If Kefka were here, I'd be more entertained... *Sighs*  
  
*The lights suddenly go off, and the audience start screaming but still sat in their seats. Tidus' sword can be seen glowing blue.*  
  
Tidus: Wah hey! Blue light bulb sword! *grins stupidly*  
  
Kuja: *Stands up trying to shout to the audience, while lighting up the place with some fire* CALM DOWN PEOPLE!!! You lot have seen worse things when travelling your worlds! GEEZ, you're all babies!  
  
Audience: Oooooo.... *Quieten down.*  
  
Kuja: Thank you! I think Seymour may have gone to check the lights, now everyone calm down! What the? AGH! *Kuja's light thing disappears and everyone starts screaming... again*  
  
*The lights suddenly come back on and Kuja is hanging upside also gagged. Two strange people that cannot be identified due to they are covered in shadows. One however won't stop hugging the upside down Kuja.*  
  
????1: We are taking over the show... Considering The Two K's have only been up for 2 episodes but still the ratings of this show have been a big hit! We will be taking over it and we will become big! MWAHAHAHA!!!  
  
????2: KUJA IS FINALLY MINE!!! MWAHAHAHA!!! *Hugs Kuja more*  
  
Kuja: *sweatdrops and breaks free from his gagged position* We'll be back right after this commercial! *Smiles at the camera*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Scene shows O'aka standing in the middle of some kind of Field. He is holding up some kind of Yuna doll in her songstress dress.*  
  
O'aka: Welcome to O'aka's, today I'm selling this beautiful one of a kind Songstress Yuna... *Camera closes up to The doll while O'aka keeps talking* This Beautiful doll is hand painted and crafted to the finest detail! It even sings and dances too!  
  
*O'aka presses some hidden button and it starts sing "real emotion" while dancing.*  
  
O'aka: Made to perfection! If you want to buy one, I'll be on the run from the al bhed! Tar tar! *runs off while being chased by the debt collectors*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ Commercial over ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Kefka has been brought out to the front of the show and is hanging upside down just like Kuja, but Kuja is still being "harassed" by one of the ????. The other one sitting at the desk with his legs on the table and arms behind hid head.*  
  
Kuja: And welcome back! As you can see me and Kefka are in a bit of a sticky situation... Isn't that right Kefka?  
  
Kefka: GET YOUR HANDS OFF KUJA-DOLL!!! Oooooooo, When I get out of this I'LL TURN YOU INTO ASHES!! UweeeeeeeeeeeeeHEHEHEHEHE!!! *Struggling badly*  
  
Kuja: I'll take that as a yes... Join us next week, or rather not if something happens to us by then! We want to thank the Rumbly Tumblys for being there!  
  
*Camera shows The Rumbly Tumblys all tied up and gagged, Quina is not gagged however as he is still chewing on keyboards.*  
  
Kuja: And also a big thank you to Cloud and Squall's brief appearance on tonights show...  
  
*Camera shows both tied up and gagged behind stage.*  
  
Kuja: Thank and – Mufjad! *gagged*  
  
????1: Thank and Join us for a change Next week! MWAHAHAHA!!! GOODNIGHT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
????2: MWAHAHAHA!!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ SPECIAL SHINRA NEWS BULLETIN ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hojo: *Is sat at the desk, ruffles some papers and sneezes* Goooooood afternoooooon! *creepy smile* Care to be one of my specimens!?!?!? MWAHAHAHAHAH!!! *Stands up and laughs maniacally, chokes and then falls to the floor.*  
  
Sephiroth: *walks in, pokes Hojo with sword, shrugs and then sits at the desk.* GOOD NIGHT!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Also chokes and fall off chair*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~ END ~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
